Hi Duncan. Tell me about your work...

My approach is based on over six years’ experience as a Certified Facilitator of ‘The Work’, a powerful process used to investigate our belief systems. The premise of this work is that all stress, anxiety or unhappiness is caused by believing certain stressful thoughts. Once these thoughts are questioned, we can then find easier, calmer ways to relate to ourselves and others.

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How did you come to do this?

I came to use this process after a stressful period in my own life. I found the process so powerful that I decided to retrain in it and make it my profession. As part of my training, I have undertaken over 2,000 hours of client contact, group training, personal work and supervision, so it’s been a lot of work! And very rewarding in that.

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What do people come and talk to you about?

Clients typically come to see me with a range of life issues. I have parents worried about their children; people suffering from self-esteem/body image issues; family members caught in conflicts with loved ones; husbands and wives looking for better ways to relate to their partners. I believe there is only one cause of all the stress and unhappiness we experience: our thinking. At the heart of every issue lie specific stressful thoughts we tell ourselves. My job is to help bring those thoughts into the light and give my clients the space and support to question these thoughts and find resolution in even the most challenging circumstances.  

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Any advice for parents finding the summer holidays stressful?

My tip on handling “stressful” kids over the summer holiday would be to identify the thoughts you have about your children and the summer that make it feel ‘stressful’. For instance, you may have thoughts such as ‘My children are being naughty’ or ‘They should do what I tell them’. Look at how you react when you believe these thoughts. Stressed? Irritable? Overwhelmed? Frustrated? And then ask yourself if those stories you tell yourself are really true. You may have believed for many years that your children should do what you tell them. And what’s the reality of it? Do they? Any time you argue with reality, you lose and you feel the stress of that. Who would you be if you didn’t believe your children should do what you tell them? Calmer, easier, more relaxed. This isn’t to say you’d be a doormat but rather, to see how your life would be if you didn’t argue with their behaviour so much.

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How do people get in touch with you?

If you’re interested in exploring stressful issues in your life and finding new ways to handle them, Duncan can be contacted at duncan@duncanlewin.co.uk or on 07779 109532. Visit his website online at www.duncanlewin.co.uk. Duncan also runs workshops in Marlow.