Tell me about you and your family…

My hubby, Edward, and I have been married for 32 years and have four children – Lucy,
30, Alex, 29, Jess, 26, and Paul, 17. We live almost next to Cliveden, so we enjoy the fireworks from our garden whenever there’s a posh wedding! We love Cookham and I’m there regularly on dog walks, for Media Hub meetings at the Bel and the Dragon and Alex used to be Sous Chef at The Odney Club. I run a small cycling group and we frequently cycle through and around Cookham, stopping at Pizza Dreams for much-needed refreshments. 

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Tell me about your business…

After working in children’s market research for 20 years, I felt I could use my skills in working with children to help them instead of helping companies make TV programmes and products for them. I was already qualified in NLP and had written books for parents about NLP ‘Be a happier parent with NLP’ and the Engaging NLP series of workbooks. So when I trained as an NLP trainer, I started to train others to use the techniques to help children and young people alongside building my own business, NLP Kids. I also had other books published about NLP by Hodder, some children’s books and I co-author a series of children’s chapter books with a Self-Esteem movement in the US. I offer one-on-one coaching programmes to boost confidence, resilience, conquer anxiety and tame anger. I also work with parents, coaching and offering weekly parenting chats on different topics (parentingchats – facebook group).

 

Have you always been interested in doing this? 

My background is in Market Research, Qualitative, which is all about getting insight, getting beyond the obvious answers. Rather than asking the ‘why’, allowing it to unfold naturally through activity and exercises, indirect questions, metaphor and art. 

   When my children were young, I ran a Montessori School from my home for seven years, and was able to use our huge garden for outside learning and unstructured play, being in nature, and we frequently spent time with the residents of Burnham Lodge Nursing Home. 

      I passionately believe in listening to kids, being with them in their space and understanding their world. Now, away from the commercial world of toys, games

and TV, I can use my skills to help them. 

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What do you like most?

What thrills me still after so many years of this work is how the NLP premise that ‘you already have all the resources’ is so true for even young children. When do we lose this instinct and creativity we’re born with? Does school educate it out of us? I don’t need to
do much, children draw or create a story, a lego model or vision board and they get the insight for themselves. This realisation that they can solve their own problem using skills they already have continues to delight me daily. 

     That’s definitely the best part. The worst would be that because I work with children
I work every day, 4-6pm, and every Saturday, so my own children don’t see much of me.

I’m lucky though that my hubby is now retired so they get to pop in and spend time with him and I don’t work after 6pm. I turn off my phone and close the office door. I’m then 'Mum' again. 

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Any advice you can share?

• Get into your child’s world! 

• Play and listen

• If something isn’t working, try another way 

• Be prepared to get it wrong. That’s what learning is all about. 

• Let them take responsibility for their own learning. It’s their homework,
  they don’t get self-esteem from your efforts to help.

• Encourage alone time when there’s nothing to do. Time to reflect; to be
  alone with themselves in their own space. That’s how we learn to love
  ourselves, then we love others.

• Go for walks, it’s easier for children to talk outside in the fresh air and not
  being looked at! 

 

What are your goals?

More of the same. I’m very happy with my mix of therapy, workshops, writing, cycling, tennis, yoga and fun with family and friends. 

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Who is your idol?

I don’t envy or compare myself to anyone. We are all wonderful in our own way and we all have our struggles. 

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What's in your handbag right now?

I work from home so I don’t really use a handbag. I have a small backpack I use when I go out for my purse and phone. When I work from The Marlow Clinic, I pack felt pens, paper, Moshi Monsters, stones, story cubes, and other bits and bobs I want to use with the child I’m working with. 

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Anything else we don't know about you and should?

I believe all children are unique and have gifts and things they struggle with. Their gifts may not be valued at school, not tested or developed, but we don’t know what the future will hold and cutting off our child’s creative mind and reducing all children to a norm is not going to make the world a better or more interesting place. It’s not an automatic assumption that passing exams with top marks will get your child a job. The world is very different and we just don’t know what skills may be needed. I work for The Princes Trust and Autism Berkshire were telling us last year that Tech companies actively seek autistic young people, Architect and Graphic designers usually have Dyslexia and lots of inventors have ADHD. Look for what they will contribute to the world and how they will ‘show up’ in the world. Let’s not limit our children and young people. 

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https://www.facebook.com/groups/parentingchats/about/